BOOK SUMMARY 396
Work
PAUSE Thrive
·
Summary written by: Paula McLeod
"It’s time to reframe the narrative that says college-educated,
professional women who pause their careers have nothing to offer the
workforce."
- Work PAUSE Thrive, page 229
In this
thoroughly researched book, Lisen Stromberg makes an impassioned plea that
women leave behind their doubts and guilt about trading their “all in, all the
time” professional careers for a “pause” for parenthood. She covers the gamut
of options for how it can be done, with loads of suggestions and anecdotes
about the many paths a parent can take. Through the telling of these stories
and the many tips contained in the book, the reader can gain confidence that
their decision to press pause on their career can be celebrated as opening up
possibilities, rather than shutting them down.
The Golden Egg
YOU CAN DO THIS!
"We need
a new narrative that recognizes the realities of women’s (and men’s)
lives."- Work PAUSE Thrive, page 17
One thing that
makes pausing possible is the shear variety of ways one can break from
traditional employment. This book identifies three broad categories:
·
The Cruiser: She (or he) downshifts to reduced responsibilities and shifts
again when parenting responsibilities lighten.
·
The Boomeranger: She (or he) leaves entirely, and then returns full force to their
previous industry and career.
·
The Pivoter: She (or he) steps away and returns to the work world in a
different capacity, having evaluated their personal goals, priorities, and
interests. The result can be a new profession, becoming an entrepreneur, and/
or committing to social change.
Just knowing
there is no “one size fits all” way to pause takes the sting out of a difficult
decision. Stromberg’s original research also showed that women who paused
and returned felt they had gained valuable skills and believed they had found
that holy grail—better work-life balance. And 82% returned to work
with more confidence!
Gem #1
Know thyself: Open your eyes to your beliefs
"People
told me that if I paused it would be ‘career suicide’ and I would never be able
to re-enter in a way that would be satisfying. I am so delighted to say that
they were SO wrong. People were eager to welcome me back in. (This) is a story
I wish more young women could hear instead of the fear-inducing narratives that
were presented to me…"- A Women on the Rise survey respondent, Work PAUSE
Thrive, page 198
When
confronted with the decision of possibly pausing their career, women (and men)
can be their own worst enemies if they listen to their own untrue and limiting
beliefs.
If you
internalize the narrative that a pause makes a parent less valuable in the work
world, you risk making that a reality. Instead, consider the observation of
Ruth Ross, an EVP in HR at Wells Fargo. She saw women who paused as
particularly successful after reentry, because their time away gave them
perspective and commitment. She credited them with “authentic engagement with
work”—a much sought-after quality these days.
To recalibrate
those beliefs, consider this: in her research, Stromberg found that something
like 90% of those who paused for up to 5 years had no regrets about
doing so (and 97% who stayed out for less than 2 years had no regrets). 69%
percent felt they were “back on track” within a year of reentry. And the
accomplishment of those who paused and those who didn’t was quite similar (30%
vs 35% achieved senior management level).
And buying
into negative beliefs about your future may keep you from using your time “out”
to your advantage. Think strategically about your volunteer commitments, using
them to build your network so you can leverage new contacts when it’s time.
Gem #2
It’s not just a “woman’s problem.” You guys can help, too.
"It takes
courage, the willingness to step out of the norm, and the humility to recognize
your own role in the problem. Here’s the thing. I’m a grandfather. If we men
don’t engage in this issue, nothing is going to change for the next
generation."- Rich Goldberg, Fellow at Stanford’s Distinguished Career
Institute, quoted in Work PAUSE Thrive, page 163
There are many
ways men can help shift the narrative around pausing.
You (men) can
be a supportive boss or coworker. But beware: rather than assuming you know
what that mother-to-be is thinking, find out what she wants.
“I’ll support you, whatever you decide,” is far preferable to “Don’t you want
to stay home once you deliver?” Don’t make assumptions.
You can be a
supportive spouse. Sheryl Sandburg famously advised women that their choice of
partner was perhaps their most important career decision. It benefits both of
you if your wife can make peace with both her professional and her parenting
roles, so together figure out how truly to share the load.
You can be a
vocal ally to women in your workplace. Stromberg cites the story of Rich
Goldberg, who founded the Cisco Men for Inclusion group. Members make a public
pledge to the value of inclusion in an industry that’s notoriously
male-dominated.
You can take a
stand on company and governmental policies on paid parental leave. Stromberg
exposes the shameful record the US has in providing paid leave vs the rest of
the developed world. And she also notes that 93 percent of Millennial men said
paternity leave was crucial in deciding whether they took a job. You can help
by following the lead of Josh Levs. He challenged Time Warner’s uneven take on
parental leave in 2013. Expecting his third child, he asked for 10 weeks paid
leave, the same as is given to new mothers (vs 2 weeks for new fathers). His
fight eventually resulted in Time Warner’s addition of four more paid weeks for
new fathers. Levs says he regularly gets emails of thanks from his coworkers, and
he is thrilled with his role of enacting some change, even if pure equality
didn’t result.
So, what can
you do within yourself, your organization, or the world to change the
perception of what a pause for parenting might mean?
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