How to Undo Bad First
Impressions
Ah, first impressions. The one thing we can all agree to be nerve-racking.
Whether meeting your significant other’s best friend or your potential new
boss, we all have experienced the desire to give an excellent first impression.
And undoubtedly, we have all experienced the disappointment that comes from
failing to do so.
We all know the basics of an introduction. If
it’s for a job, you stay true to yourself while also being extremely
professional and confident. If it’s to meet someone in your social life, you
may want to appear witty and confidant (without trying too hard). But when you
have an off day, or just don’t know how to ace the first impression to begin with…what
do you do?
First impressions can be very influential
While it can feel embarrassing to miss the
mark of a good first impression, depending on the situation, it can also come
with some pretty serious consequences. For instance, if the poor first impression
happened in an important job interview, you definitely won’t be getting an
offer. It doesn’t matter to the company that you know you were
having an off day and you know you would be perfect for the
position.
If you miss the shot, here’s what you should
do to bounce back
Even though giving a bad first impression can
feel like the end of the world, there are things you can do to reverse the
negative outcome and give the impression you meant to all along. The following
tips should be studied and kept in the back of your mind for use at any given
moment.
Decide if it needs a do-over at all
When we feel like someone didn’t see us for
the real us or generally wasn’t too fond of us, we can be
tempted to go out of our way to change their impression. But sometimes it’s not
worth worrying about in the first place. So before you put your foot in your
mouth trying to convince someone they should really like you or give you a
second chance, assess the situation once you’ve calmed down and see if it’s
worth the stress.
Stick to them like glue
If you want someone to pay attention to you,
regardless of their first impression of you, it’s important to create
situations where the person relies on you to help them succeed. Identify
opportunities for collaboration, even if you feel a little awkward.
Psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson says, “It’s natural to shy away from people
who don’t think highly of you. But you need to fight that instinct and instead
stick to them like glue if you hope to correct their misperceptions.”
Remind them of the importance of fairness
This tip is a little gutsy, but if you do it
right, you’ll have a second chance in no time. A recent study found when people
aspire to fairness, or have even been asked to consider it, they tend to
inhibit some biases like gender stereotypes. To use this in your favor, comment
on how the ability to judge someone accurately is a key skill for everyone to
have. The subtle comment causes the listener to consider whether or not they
have misjudged you.
Apologize, but don’t over-apologize
If you know exactly why you didn’t come
across as your usual charming self, accept it and be honest about it. Simply
apologize for the misstep and move on. But don’t feel the need to suddenly
apologize profusely. It can make the person you’re apologizing to feel they
need to constantly reassure you. And no one likes that.
Recover quickly
When it comes to making up for a bad first
impression, a great action to take is to turn right around and show a different
side of your personality that’s a little easier to like. If you made a joke
that wound up being a little off-color, then recover by demonstrating
sincerity. Or if you tried to seem sincere and it came off a little fake,
demonstrate compassion.
Be aware of how you are perceived
Self-awareness is key to success, no matter
what we’re talking about. But when it comes to first impressions, it’s just as
important. If you are a very shy person, and you know that about yourself, be
aware of how it could seem to people who are judging you for the first time. In
social situations, it could make you seem cold, even though you’re actually
incredibly uncomfortable. So change up your body language to appear more open,
no matter how quiet you may be, and don’t be afraid to ask easy questions like,
“where are you from?,” “what do you do for a living?,” etc..
Wait it out, look for the best time to
explain yourself
Timing is key. When it comes to wanting to
undo a bad first impression, you may be overzealous in your attempt to fix the
problem. However, that could make it look like you’re coming off too strong or
you’re a pushy person. Instead, wait it out. One of my very best friends
started out as someone I couldn’t stand. My first impression of her was that
she was whiney and entitled. About a year later, we met again under different
circumstances and began chatting. She was able to explain to me what was going
on in her life that led me to have that impression of her, and it gave us the
opportunity to talk without any bias. We’re so close in fact, that she’s one of
my bridesmaids. But if she had been too pushy about making sure I liked her
right after we first met, I probably wouldn’t have given her the time of day.
Give them new context about your life
In 2015, a study conducted by Cornell
University found it was possible to change someone’s impression of you just by
giving information that puts your actions in a new light. The study involved
telling participants about a man who broke into a house and took precious
objects. Obviously the participants disliked the man. Even when told the same
man had once saved a baby’s life, the participants judged him still. However,
the precious items the man took were two children, and he broke into the home
because it was burning down! Changing the context completely changed the
perception the participants had on the man. So if you can find a way to show
your initial actions were well-intentioned, you can usually change that bad
first impression to a good one.
So what do you think? Do you feel more
capable of ensuring that person you just met likes you? Perception is so
important, but it’s often hard to read. So remember to assess the situation
thoroughly before going out of you way to redo the initial impression. After
all, that’s your first impression of the other person, too; they may feel just
as embarrassed as you do!
So be self-aware and know when to take action
and when to let things go for a while. Sometimes second chances occur
naturally, and other times you need to work for them. No matter which it is,
remember the tips in this article and you’re sure to leave a great impression
next time.
http://www.lifehack.org/603267/how-to-undo-bad-first-impressions-you-dont-need-a-time-machine-to-do-so?ref=mail&mtype=newsletter_tier_1&mid=20170615&uid=687414&hash=707e797f7e757e6d794c856d747b7b3a6f7b79&action=click
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