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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

EI SPECIAL..... 10 Ways Manipulators Use Emotional Intelligence for Evil (and How to Fight Back)

10 Ways Manipulators Use Emotional Intelligence for Evil (and How to Fight Back)


Emotional intelligence is nothing new.
Sure, the term was coined in the 1960s, and popularized by psychologists in recent decades. But the concept of emotional intelligence--which I define as a person's ability to recognize and understand emotions and use that information to guide decision making--has been around as long as we have.
This skill we refer to as emotional intelligence (also known as EI or EQ) is like any other ability: You can cultivate it, work to enhance it, sharpen it.
And it's important to know that, just like other skills, emotional intelligence can be used both ethically and unethically.
The dark side of emotional intelligence
Organizational psychologist and best-selling author Adam Grant identified EI at its worst in his essay for The Atlantic, "The Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence":
Recognizing the power of emotions...one of the most influential leaders of the 20th century spent years studying the emotional effects of his body language. Practicing his hand gestures and analyzing images of his movements allowed him to become "an absolutely spellbinding public speaker," says the historian Roger Moorhouse--"it was something he worked very hard on."
His name was Adolf Hitler.
The last thing anyone wants is to be manipulated, whether it's by politicians, colleagues, or even those who claim to be our friends.
Below, I've listed 10 ways emotional intelligence can be used against you. Of course, these actions and characteristics don't always identify a lack of ethics; a person may practice them unintentionally. Nonetheless, increasing awareness of these behaviors will equip you to deal with them strategically, and sharpen your own EQ in the process.
1. They play on fear.
A manipulator will exaggerate facts and overemphasize specific points in an effort to scare you into action.
Strategy: Beware of statements that imply you lack courage or attempts to instill a fear of missing out. Make sure you have the whole picture of a situation before taking action.
2. They deceive.
All of us value transparency and honesty, but manipulators hide the truth or try to show you only one side of the story. For example, consider the manager or employee who purposefully spreads unconfirmed rumors and gossip to gain a strategic advantage.
Strategy: Don't believe everything you hear. Rather, base your decisions on reputable sources and ask questions when details aren't clear.
3. They take advantage when you're happy.
Often, we're tempted to say yes to anything when we're in an especially good mood, or jump on opportunities that look really good at the time (but that we haven't really thought through). Manipulators know how to take advantage of those moods.
Strategy: Work to increase awareness of your positive emotions just as much as your negative emotions. When it comes to making decisions, strive to achieve balance.
4. They take advantage of reciprocity.
Manipulators know it's harder to say no if they do something for you--so they may attempt to flatter, butter you up, or say yes to small favors...and then ask you for big ones.
Strategy: For sure, giving brings more joy than receiving.
But it's also important to know your limitations. And don't be afraid to say no when appropriate.
5. They push for home-court advantage.
"A manipulative individual may insist on you meeting and interacting in a physical space where he or she can exercise more dominance and control," says Preston Ni, author of How to Successfully Handle Manipulative People.
These people may push to negotiate in a space where they feel ownership and familiarity, like their office, home, or any other place you might feel less comfortable.
Strategy: If you need to negotiate, offer to do so in a neutral space. If you must meet the person on his or her home turf, ask for a drink of water and engage in small talk upon arrival, to help you get your bearings.
6. They ask lots of questions.
It's easy to talk about ourselves. Manipulators know this, and they take advantage by asking probing questions with a hidden agenda--discovering hidden weaknesses or information they can use to their advantage.
Strategy: Of course, you shouldn't assume wrong motives in everyone who wants to get to know you better. But beware of those who only ask questions--while refusing to reveal the same information about themselves.
7. They speak quickly.
At times, manipulators will speak at a faster pace or use special vocabulary and jargon in an attempt to gain advantage.
Strategy: Don't be afraid to ask people to repeat their point, or to ask questions for clarity. You can also repeat their point in your words, or ask them to name an example--allowing you to regain control of the conversation.
8. They display negative emotion.
Some people purposefully raise their voice or use strong body language to show they're upset, in an effort to manipulate your emotions. 

Strategy: Practice the pause. If someone demonstrates strong emotion, take a moment before reacting. In some instances, you may even walk away for a few minutes.
9. They give you an extremely limited time to act.
An individual may try and force you to make a decision within a very unreasonable amount of time. In doing so, he or she wants to coerce you into a decision before you have time to weigh the consequences.
Strategy: Don't submit to unreasonable demands. If your partner refuses to give you more time, you're better off looking for what you need somewhere else.
10. They give you the silent treatment.
"By deliberately not responding to your reasonable calls, text messages, emails, or other inquiries, the manipulator presumes power by making you wait, and intends to place doubt and uncertainty in your mind," says Ni. "The silent treatment is a head game, where silence is used as a form of leverage."
Strategy: After you've attempted communication to a reasonable degree, give your partner a deadline. In situations where alternatives are unavailable, a frank discussion addressing his or her communication style may be necessary.
Putting it into practice
There will always be those who work to increase their emotional awareness--in both themselves and others. Sometimes, they'll use that power for manipulative influence.
And that's exactly why you should sharpen your own emotional intelligence--to protect yourself when they do.

BY JUSTIN BARISO

http://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/10-ways-manipulators-use-emotional-intelligence-for-evil-and-how-to-fight-back.html?cid=em01014week34a

EDUCATION SPECIAL......Mind-set amongst engineering students: Findings of a study

Mind-set amongst engineering students: Findings of a study

 Nandini Consultancy Centre, a chemical engineering and chemical business consultancy based in Chennai and Singapore, conducted a study on the mindset amongst the engineering students, with regard to their career prospects and future plans. The study was conducted during April-June 2016, when informal discussions were held with a cross-section of students, studying in engineering colleges, those aspiring to get into engineering colleges and those awaiting results after completing the course.
Objectives
More than one lakh seats remain unfilled in Tamil Nadu, which has around 550 engineering colleges. Similar conditions prevail in many other States in India. With so many seats now available, any student with minimum marks and who can raise the resources can join an engineering college, irrespective of merit and competence. Unemployment amongst fresh engineers has reached alarmingly high levels, with many under-employed or in areas totally unrelated to their engineering education. In addition, a large number of diploma holders in engineering subjects are also passing out every year. In such circumstances, it has become necessary to ascertain the mindset of engineering students, as to what they aspire and hope to achieve.

Findings of the study
Vague view on prospects for engineering education More than 90% of the students join engineering course not because they have understood the prospects of the particular branch of their study very well, but only due to their expectation that engineering education may provide them better career prospects, compared to the graduate level science subjects. This is a vague view, without any substantial evidence before the students or their parents. Students and their parents are disadvantaged in making their choice, since no reliable assessment has been made by the government or any private organization about the employment potentials for the various fields of engineering study.

 Choice of course
A few years back many students thought that a course in computer education would inevitably land them plum jobs. However, recent reports in the media that several information technology companies have slowed down their recruitment process or have failed to honour commitments made in the campus recruitment have created an impression that all is not well with the computer education as far as the job prospects are concerned. With herd mentality, several students and their parents are veering to the view that traditional subjects such as civil and mechanical may now offer better prospects. In most cases, the choice of course for study seem to be more decided by the parents and the elders in the family, rather than by the students themselves. Many students understand the nature of the course only after joining and some think that they have not made the best of decision after studying for two years. But they find it too late to change, and have to reconcile themselves for lifelong association with the subject, which may not be to their liking.

Students bank on reputation of college
Many students think that reputation of the college is the primary requisite for the students to land good jobs. Therefore, there appears to be a view that more than the choice of the course, the choice of the college is an important factor.
Anxiety about job prospects
 A small percentage of students are clear about the future option such as going for higher studies in India or abroad, or entering into business activities/self-employment. However, more than 95% of students only look for jobs. Many students seem to think that post-graduate education will not really improve job prospects in the present circumstances. Only a few colleges are visited by companies for campus interviews and these companies offer jobs only for some selected students. Unfortunately, engineering colleges organize no systematic counselling programme for the benefit of the students on choice of jobs. Even the few that do, do not do so in a well planned way. Many colleges do not organize interactions and/or lectures by experts in the field for the benefit of the students; and one or two programmes that are organized by a few colleges are often found to be inadequate and lack focus. This seems to be one of the major regrets of the students. In desperation, in several colleges, final year students organize themselves and write to various industries inviting them to visit the colleges for campus interview. Students from a few colleges said that they have never even received an acknowledgement for their efforts from the industry.

Prospects in core industries
Many students seem to believe that irrespective of their course of study, they should get into IT, primarily due to the attractive salary offers and comfort level in the job. Many are aware that by joining the IT, they will burn their bridges with core subjects like chemical or mechanical engineering and will settle for unrelated jobs. But they think that they have no option, as jobs in the chemical or mechanical industries are not many to absorb all of them, with good salaries.
Where are jobs available?
Students point out that very few advertisements appear in the media seeking fresh engineering candidates for jobs. Therefore, not knowing where jobs are available, students send large number of applications by email or letters to various companies. Rarely, acknowledgements are received. In such circumstances, students conclude that “contacts” have become necessary to get jobs.

Prospects for women
Compared to male students, there appear to be even more anxiety amongst female students about employment prospects. Most women engineers think they should get into IT or research functions. While this is possible for bright students, others with lesser academic performance do not find attractive job offers forthcoming. Many women students in the past have taken up entirely unrelated jobs or are not in the job market at all.

Under-employment
In a scenario where anyone with minimum marks can get admission into an engineering college, there are large number of students who have arrears or get low marks. In such conditions, it appears students who do not get high marks and who do not have “contacts” end up in jobs for which even 10+2 level of qualification is adequate.

What students want?
Students are aware that there are jobs available for meritorious students who consistently show high academic performance, which may consist of around 30% of the students. Nevertheless, the students point out that all graduating students are also engineers and high prospects for just 30% of students is not adequate. Students in the final year who are in the threshold of entering the job market find fault with the All India Council of Technical Education and the state governments for permitting so many engineering colleges, without relating them to the job avenues available and also not ensuring the requisite standards of education in many colleges. After completing the course and facing grim employment prospects, considerable section of engineering students, particularly those with not-so-good academic performance, think that they have erred in their choice of course of study.


-     Special Report  Chemical Weekly August 23, 2016

PERSONAL SPECIAL.... The Surprising Scientific Link Between Happiness And Decision Making

The Surprising Scientific Link Between Happiness And Decision Making

There's a happiness gap between wanting the best and accepting good enough. Here are some science-backed ways to close it.

How do you make decisions? Some people want to find the absolute best option ("maximizers"). Others, known as "satisficers," have a set of criteria, and go for the first option that clears the bar.
While wanting the best seems like a good thing, research from Swarthmore Collegefinds that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers.
This is true for two reasons. First, people who want the best tend to be prone to regret. "If you’re out to find the best possible job, no matter how good it is, if you have a bad day, you think there’s got to be something better out there," says Barry Schwartz, a professor at the University of California, Berkeley and author of The Paradox of Choice.
If you have trouble making decisions, then choose when to choose.
Maximizers are also prone to measuring themselves against others. "If you’re looking for the best, social comparison is inevitable," says Schwartz. "There’s no other way to know what the best is." Envy quickly makes people miserable.
This happiness gap raises the question: Can maximizers learn to become satisficers? Can you learn to settle for good enough?
Possibly, but it takes some work. "What I believe is that it’s changeable and that it’s not easy to change," says Schwartz. Here are some ways to make the shift.

Wisdom is realizing that "the idea of the best is preposterous. There is no best anything," says Schwartz. Platonic ideals don’t exist in this world. Plus, we all live with limits. The best house, if it were to exist, would not be in your budget. Rather than focusing on best, start approaching decisions with a list of practical criteria. Is the house near your office? Is the yard big enough for your dog? Be honest. Maybe you want a house that looks impressive, and that’s fine to put on the list if it matters to you. Anything that satisfies all your important criteria will be fine. "Good enough is virtually always good enough," says Schwartz.
In Schwartz’s personality scales, people exist along a continuum. "Nobody is a maximizer about everything," he says. You might be spending months trying to find the best possible car, but you’re okay with choosing whatever toilet paper is on sale. Consequently, he says, "Your task is not to learn a new skill, but to transfer a skill you already have to a new domain."
Start with medium-sized decisions. When you feel the maximizing tendency kicking in, and you start looking at all possible sweaters, make a note of it, and just pick one you like. Afterwards, evaluate whether there have been any significant downsides. Spoiler alert: There won’t be. "You discover that the world doesn’t end with a good enough sweater," he says.
Make sure you see the upsides of satisficing, too. "You can literally cut your time working on something from hours to minutes when you realize that you don't need to complete something perfectly, or even in some cases, realize that you can delegate it," says Elizabeth Grace Saunders, a time management coach and author of How to Invest Your Time Like Money.

The problem with social comparison is that people are more likely to look at those with more (versus those with less), and hence feel miserable. But you can consciously change who you see. There are many reasons to try a social media detox, for example. Learning to be happy with "good enough" is one of them.
If you have trouble making decisions, then "choose when to choose," says Schwartz. Hire a decorator who will show you two options for light fixtures. If you’re looking for a new phone plan, call a friend who just chose one and, if she’s happy with it, go for what she went for. Chances are, you’ll like it too. You can ask the waiter which entree he likes and choose that.
Time is limited, and maximizing means you spend more time on decision making and less time enjoying whatever you’ve decided. Saunders recommends creating an overall plan for the day or week. Then get clear on what's a high-impact task and what’s not.
"For example, a top priority task might be reviewing a contract for a large deal," Saunders explains. "A simple to-do item might be deciding on a restaurant for lunch with a colleague." Then figure out how much time each task should take. "Put in larger amounts of time for the big tasks," she says, "but still limit the time."
And for the lesser tasks? Be merciless. "For example, I can only spend five to 10 minutes looking for a lunch location. Once the 10 minutes is up, I’ll go with the best option I’ve found," she says. Feel free to reward yourself for sticking with this goal. "Give yourself a reason to end on time," says Saunders, such as having time for dessert at that lunch spot you’ve chosen.
LAURA VANDERKAM 

https://www.fastcompany.com/3063066/the-science-backed-way-to-be-happier-by-making-better-choices

BOSS SPECIAL..... 8 Mistakes Managers Make, According to Their Employees

8 Mistakes Managers Make, According to Their Employees

This independent survey reveals the truth about workplace bosses, from the employee's perspective.

Last year, I conducted an independent workplace survey on LinkedIn and received hundreds of responses to the question: "What is the ONE mistake leaders make more frequently than others?"
It obviously struck a chord, as the sentiments of employees across the globe came streaming in, many of them feeling distressed and disengaged.
I am revealing my top findings from this survey, broken down by the eight most common themes. In essence, these are the eight biggest mistakes leaders make that suck the life out of their teams.
1. Micromanaging.
Really, no surprise here. Leaders who dominate people, decisions, and processes, lead by fear, and lack vision make this the No.1 mistake. As I have written in the past, micromanaging ultimately derails your team's motivation and creativity.
2. Leading from a position of power or ego.
As it has always been, hubris is the cause of much conflict and grief. As one respondent succinctly puts it:
"Intellectual arrogance is like a termite to some leaders and networks."
Others suggest that know-it-alls who think they have the best ideas and information, and use it to wield power or control, destroy morale.
Some respondents express disdain over leaders unfit to lead, and blame the hiring of decision makers who place such leaders in those positions.
The general feeling here points to a lack of humility -- not able to own being wrong, and not handling being wrong well. Even science agrees there's one type of hubris (pride) leaders should avoid to achieve success and happiness.
3. Not listening.
One respondent puts it this way:
"It is not the inability to listen but the inability to 'hear' what their team [members] are saying to them."
The lack of active and respectful listening, and two-way communication -- sending without receiving -- is a clear shortcoming for many. I have written about how this type of "authentic listening" may be the most underutilized and underdeveloped leadership skill you will find in entrepreneurs.
4. Not valuing followers.
This mistake points to the overarching theme of leaders dismissing the value of their people. They either don't care, don't know how to care, or stopped caring. In essence, it's the leader who thinks anyone is replaceable, and sees employees as "cogs on a wheel" rather than "worthy colleagues" to be treated like business partners in producing excellence.
Quite a few respondents offer great advice to leaders who don't grasp how to properly value employees. Two that stand out for me are:
·         Invest in employees with development and mentoring opportunities.
·         Identify each person's unique skills and strengths, and use them where they are best suited for business outcomes.
5. Failing to grow themselves as leaders.
One collective sentiment from the study is that certain leaders, at whatever level, may have self-entitlement issues about growing and developing themselves.
Upper management may invest heavily in leadership development for middle and lower management, yet be reluctant to get the same level of training. This despite the fact that leadership issues at the senior level are just as frequent, often causing friction, strain and turnover down the ranks.
Some examples of behavior that cry out for executive-level leadership development:
·         Low self-awareness -- not knowing oneself.
·         Communication issues, lacking in two-way feedback.
·         Ego: having all the answers and not soliciting input.
Notice the correlation between mistake No. 2 (ego-driven leaders) and leaders who want to push the responsibility for leadership development down to lower ranks.
6. Lacking boundaries.
Some leaders forget to recognize professional boundaries. The moment a leader starts trying to "buddy up" with subordinates, the chain of command begins to disintegrate and boundaries become blurred.
Leaders can compromise their own integrity by becoming too friendly with subordinates. A healthy mutual respect should be the goal of bother superiors and subordinates. Approachability is key, but not at the expense of professionalism.
7. Not providing or receiving feedback.
Since employees are the ones most intimately acquainted to how things are going on in the trenches -- with customers, processes, etc. -- it behooves leaders to gain their tribe's trust by coming to them first for input, buy-in, advice, and strategy.
This fosters a culture of trust, questioning and creativity, where followers feel safe enough to contribute ideas and share concerns that have value and can help resolve situations.
In the survey, respondents cite these common "allergic reactions" to feedback among leaders:
·         Getting defensive when receiving feedback.
·         Soliciting "bogus feedback."
·         Not asking questions when receiving feedback (a sort of emotional "shutdown" stemming from an ego position).
·         Reacting to feedback by reverting to expertise and knowledge -- giving answers to every question and issue.
For leaders who do give feedback to employees, these are common leader habits cited as being unproductive:
·         Providing feedback that isn't actionable or doesn't help followers develop.
·         Assuming the absence of feedback means everything is OK. A sort of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" mentality.
·         Thinking they know what followers want/need without asking them. Usually, this involves a lot of projection.
8. Not sharing leadership.
The concept of sharing leadership and empowering your tribe to make their own decisions is not new, but it's gaining momentum thanks to books like Turn the Ship Around, by David Marquet.
It makes sense for leaders to set the stage for teams to operate this way because, on the frontlines, workers have more knowledge of the subject matter than leaders do. As one respondent puts it:
"Leaders fail to tap into frontline intelligence. Involve those who will be affected by the implementation by enlisting their energy and insights, or be left with people asking 'What were they thinking when they rolled this out.'"
Closing thoughts.
In the end, we don't need to demonize the leaders who are the subject of many of these responses; they are humans too, and not out to deliberately destroy the lives of their followers. They should be treated with grace, and also empowered to succeed with the proper development.
BY MARCEL SCHWANTES

http://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/8-mistakes-managers-make-according-to-their-employees.html?cid=em01014week34a

COMMUNICATION/ MEETING SPECIAL .....Master the One-on-One Meeting

Master the One-on-One Meeting
  
The one-on-one meeting between supervisor and staff is an invaluable tool for managing, but requires much attention to detail. Julia B. Austin explains best practices for getting the most out of the 1:1.

Whether you’re a CEO or a line manager, your team is just as important as a group as its members are as individuals. Today’s tech companies offer many perks to attract and retain the best employees. We offer competitive salaries, training and the promise of success—professionally and financially. But how we treat them as individuals can determine the way their DNA will impact the fabric of your organization. What are you doing, as their manager, to make sure they are satisfied and making the best contribution to your organization?
I have managed over 100 direct reports over the course of my career. From the nerdiest, most introverted engineer to the highly extroverted sales executive. They’ve been on either side of up to 20 years senior or junior to me, varying genders and from as far away as India and China to as near as the office next door. No matter what their role, experience, proximity or personality, I have always made their one-on-ones (1:1’s) a priority. Why are 1:1’s so important?
·         Whether it’s an hour a week or 30 minutes once a month, making time for an individual says you give a damn about them as a person.
·         The 1:1 is the only forum where you can have an honest, private, conversation with each other about what’s really going on—professionally and personally.
·         This is a routine opportunity for you, as a manager, to assess the parts (your employees) that lead to the productive whole (your team)—which we all know is more powerful than the sum of said parts.
·         A leader who makes time for their team members—especially those who are also leaders—is less likely to suffer poor team performance because of ambiguity and mistrust. Each 1:1 is an opportunity to clarify the goals of the organization, your performance expectations and build a trusting relationship with your employees by getting to know them as people, not just workers.
·         Finally, constructive 1:1s throughout the year makes performance reviews a breeze. With routine 1:1s, review time can be more about goals and the year ahead instead of constructive feedback from the past.
Don’t just schedule these important meetings with your direct reports, be thoughtful about how these sessions play out. Below is the guidance I give to new managers on conducting 1:1’s.
Set expectations
Whether your employee has worked for you for awhile and you’re just kicking off 1:1s, or they are a new hire and you’re rolling them into the fold, set expectations up front.
·         I am a big believer in being clear about behavior changes. If this is a new process you are putting in place at your company/in your team, be transparent about it. Otherwise, people worry something bad is going to happen (getting fired) if you all of sudden start scheduling 1:1s. Announce it at a team meeting/all-hands or send out an email/slack being clear about why these are important to do.
·         This meeting is for them as much as it is for you. Be clear that you do this with all employees who work directly for you. No one is being singled out.
·         Book a regular cadence of 1:1s. They should not be ad-hoc. It’s ok to skip one every once and awhile, but having it locked into the calendar is your commitment to being there for your employee.
·         Decide the best cadence with them (weekly or every other week? 30 minutes or an hour?) and what the format should be—your office or theirs, a walk, or maybe grabbing coffee. Different formats work for different employees and they can always be changed as you get into a groove. [see below on remote employees]. Just don’t do after work drinks—that suggests a less serious discussion.

The agenda
If a meeting is important enough to have, it should have an agenda.
·         Topics in a 1:1 should be about professional growth, personal connection and for giving each other feedback. Do not use the meeting to re-hash things from a group meeting or standup unless there are specific things you took off-line in that meeting or need to provide/get constructive feedback.
·         24 hours or so before the meeting, email the employee a list of what you’d like to cover. Try to do a split between strategic, tactical and personal items and always ask your employee what they want to cover too. For efficiency, let them know if you need them to bring/read/do something before the meeting. For example:

Jessica, for our 1:1 tomorrow, I’d like to cover the following:
o    Review a potential change to the product roadmap for next quarter and how that might impact your team. Please bring the latest roadmap with you.
o    Walk through the training presentation deck you are preparing for your new hires. Please send me your latest version tonight if you can?
o    Get feedback on whether the budget changes I made for you were helpful. Let me know if there are new numbers I should look at before we meet.
o    Hear about your vacation! Your pics looked awesome.
Let me know what else you’d like to cover. Looking forward to catching up!
The 1:1 meeting
With an agenda set and materials pre-reviewed/in-hand, you are ready for a productive session.
·         Walk through the agenda. Ask if there’s anything else to add before you dig in. Always leave a door open—sometimes an employee is holding back on something.
·         If there are hard things to discuss (maybe some tough performance feedback), try to bookend it with two positive topics. That way, the close of the meeting doesn’t leave your employee feeling down. You’ve given them good feedback and some things to work on.
·         Do not monopolize the conversation. This is for you each to get time to talk. Pause often and make sure there is opportunity for discussion and questions.
·         Always end the meeting asking them how things are going overall and if there is anything else you can do to make them successful. Sounds awkward, but that’s your job! If your employees are a success, you are success.

After the meeting
It is important to always follow up any 1:1 (or scheduled meeting, for that matter) with notes on what was discussed, decisions made and, if relevant, any constructive feedback that will be measured going forward. Keep it short and sweet:
Jessica, good meeting today! From what we discussed:
o    Sounds like the roadmap change won’t slip the schedule much. Please share the new schedule on slack so the team can digest it before our Product group meeting.
o    Love the training deck! Let me know if you want to practice with me before you present next week. You’re going to crush it.
o    Sounds like those budget tweaks aren’t cutting it for your team’s needs. I’ll try to adjust next quarter, but right now you are going to have to work with what you have. Manage your spend carefully.
o    Thanks for letting me know you’re working on a personnel issue on your team. Let me know if I can help. Otherwise, keep me posted on how it plays out.
A recap ensures that you’re both on the same page and it serves as an audit trail if/when anything goes off the rails. Do this with ALL your employees. Otherwise, some may wonder why they’re getting follow up emails and others are not. Consistency in leadership is critical!
Remote employees and non-Directs
·         1:1s with remote employees can be tricky. I recommend using video whenever possible and, if possible, 1-2 in-person 1:1s a year to maintain the personal connection. All other suggestions above apply for the remote employee.
·         It is perfectly OK to have 1:1s with junior people who do not work directly for you. Just remember, you are NOT their manager. Be clear about why you are requesting the meeting. 
Perhaps you are the CEO and want to have a 1:1 with a lead engineer to get a better understanding of a product challenge:
o    Make sure the engineer’s manager knows why you want to have the meeting.
o    Make sure the engineer understands you would like to get the detail directly vs. through other people. You are not going around their boss who knows you are requesting this meeting.
o    Be very careful about feedback. Always end such meetings with next steps being how you’ll follow up with the employee’s manager if there are any action items. Never undermine someone’s manager by giving specific direction without consulting with their manager. Especially if you are the CEO/CTO or other senior position. Often, the most simple “that sounds cool” can be heard as “do it!” from someone more senior than your boss.
Invest in your team
One-on-ones can make all the difference in how you lead. Your time invested in doing them right will pay off not only with each individual, but with how your organization functions as a team.
Have other tips on running successful 1:1s or good lessons learned fromnot having them? Please share in the comments.
by Julia B. Austin

http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/master-the-one-on-one-meeting?cid=spmailing-13352306-WK%20Newsletter%208-24-2016%20(1)-August%2024,%202016