The 12
Questions to Ask Yourself Before Making a Big Decision
Life is packed with decisions, big and small. But some require
deeper contemplation. Often, our hesitance to make up our minds when confronted
with a big choice results in not taking any action whatsoever. We avoid it. We
want to hide under the covers and hope our need to do something will
pass.
But the harsh truth is that inaction is a decision too. If we
don’t move to Austin, forge ahead for that VP title, start a side project this
summer, or call off our less-than-satisfactory relationship, we are deciding to
stay where we are. We are deciding to live in Chicago. We are deciding to
remain in our current job. We are deciding to reject entrepreneurship (and more
dough). We are deciding to stay with James or Jessica. If you feel a big
decision is looming in your life, don’t hide! Ask yourself these 12
questions—and write down your answers—to get clear on what's the right choice
for you.
1. How long have
I been thinking about this?
This is a brilliant question that a good life coach would ask you.
If someone comes to me wanting to start a party-planning business, it’s very
different if their answer is “Since I saw a movie about it two days ago!”
versus “Two or three years—it’s always been in the back of my mind.”
The length of time is a good indicator of how important something
is to you. The longer you’ve been thinking about it, the more important it
tends to be.
2. How committed
am I to this change?
Rate your level of commitment on a scale out of 10. Think about
the amount of work, effort, and time you'd have to put in. Is your level of
commitment higher than a 7? That’s great data for your decision!
3. When I think
about it, how does my body feel?
Imagine the potential outcomes of the decision. Picture yourself
and your life a few months down the road. How does it feel? How does your body
respond? Excitement, a little nervousness, and relief are very positive
emotions! Beware of feelings of dullness or indifference.
4. Am I feeling
fear or intuition?
Our fear often tells us what we need to do next. That’s because
when something really matters to us it scares us. Hey—we don’t want to fail or
screw up on this very important thing! Get real about the fear you might be feeling.
Think: Could my reluctance here be intuitive—guiding me toward the right path?
5. Is this
decision in line with my long-term goals?
Ask yourself: What do I want five, even 10 years from now? Write
down your goals. Then think about how this decision plays into that longer-term
plan.
For example, if you’ve been single for a while and hope to be
married with kids in a few years, getting out there and creating an online
dating profile is probably smart! Do what your future self will thank you for.
6. What are my
precise options?
Let’s go deeper. What specific options are there? Are there only
two? Are there more? Are there other options you might not have considered?
Write them down—the possibilities might surprise you!
7. What are the
risks of my options?
When you get clear on your options and have outlined the one you
most want to pursue, ask: What is the real risk of doing this? List every
single thing that is stopping you and the absolute worst outcomes of making the
decision. Now be honest: How risky is it, really?
8. What is the
risk of not doing it?
This is one of my favorite questions! If something is stirring
within you—a creative idea, a calling to move somewhere new, a desire to end a
relationship—what are you giving up when you don’t do it? Because inaction is
action, the truth here can be very sobering. What might you be
missing out on in your life if you do nothing?
9. Is now the
right time?
Bear in mind: Not all decisions need to be made immediately. But
there are few real reasons we ever need to delay making a big one when it
presents itself. Remember, life is always uncertain and time waits for no one.
10. If not now,
when?
If right this moment isn't the best time to make this decision,
give yourself a deadline. But don't wait too long—deadlines made further than
six months out rarely work because we cannot “taste” them. What will you commit
to—before the holidays, this year?
11. What does my
past experience tell me about this?
If you are still doubtful, let your past experiences guide you. When
have you had to make big decisions before? Did you survive? Are you happy you
made them? How can past choices inform you in making this choice?
12. Where is the
fun?
Change is scary, yes. But growth never happens without change.
There are no exceptions. Can you see or anticipate the fun in making this
decision?
A client of mine went through an emotional breakup last year but
soon enough snagged herself a great studio apartment in a neighborhood she
loves and took her first solo vacation. She's about to take her second trip
alone, and it’s all she talks about. But this could only happen after her
big decision to move on as a single woman. Even in tough times you can focus on
the positive—it’s always there!
The Takeaway
Making a big decision doesn’t have to be so daunting. There are no
right or wrong answers or right or wrong ways to live your life. A lot of
decisions are not even necessarily permanent. Think about the decision in the
grander scheme of your life to put it in perspective. You don’t have to ask
other people what they think. Your inner wisdom has the answers.
So get busy asking the person who knows best—you.
BY SUSIE MOORE
http://greatist.com/live/decision-making-questions-to-ask-yourself?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_content=story5_cta&utm_campaign=daily_newsletter_2016-07-05_mails_daily_new_header
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