7 Things Mentally Strong People Never
Do
Quit these bad habits and
you'll become massively more resilient instantly.
You know how to become physically stronger --
just hit the gym and work those muscles. But how do you become mentally stronger?
According
to psychotherapist Amy Morin, building your capacity to deal with negativity
and adversity isn't about building mental muscle mass; it's about subtracting
the harmful habits of thought that waste your energy and make you weaker.
Her book 13 Things Mentally Strong People
Don’t Do details
exactly the sort of destructive thinking you should cut out of your life if you
want to radically increase your resilience. It's based on a post she wrote on
the same topic, which went viral. If you're looking to kick some bad mental
habits and toughen yourself up, it's a great source of ideas to get you
started. Here are a few things you should stop doing for improved mental
strength.
1.
Feeling sorry for yourself
Your
grandmother was right -- there is little benefit in crying over spilled milk.
Bad, unfair things sadly happen. Moping about them is just a waste of your
energy. "Mentally strong people don't sit around feeling sorry about their
circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take
responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn't always
easy or fair," Morin writes.
This advice is a bit controversial, however.
Other experts have argued that a short, controlled burst of wallowing after a setback is a healthy way to be kind to
yourself, process negative emotion, and learn from your experience. But
everyone agrees: If feeling sorry for yourself goes on and on with no
constructive benefits, it's time to suck it up and take responsibility for
moving forward.
2.
Avoiding change
If
ever there was a losing battle, it's trying to avoid change. Not. Going. To.
Happen. Mentally strong people know this. They "welcome positive change
and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and
believe in their abilities to adapt."
3.
Trying to please everyone
Trying to please everyone often means you end
up never pleasing yourself. The mentally strong are considerate of others but
they don't make this mistake. "They're not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind
and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn't make them
happy," writes Morin.
4.
Repeating mistakes
You've no doubt heard the oft-repeated (and possibly
misattributed) Einstein quotethat says "the definition of insanity is
doing something over and over again and expecting a different result." The
truly resilient take this truth to heart. "They accept responsibility for
their behavior and learn from their past mistakes," so that they don't
make them again, Morin asserts.
5.
Resenting others' success
Envy
may be natural but it's also a pointless energy suck. All the thought you're
pouring into comparing yourself with others could be put to better use. The
mentally strong "don't grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass
them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are
willing to work hard for their own chance at success," she believes.
Of course, that's easier said than done for many of us mere mortals.
Luckily, there's practical advice out there on how to talk yourself out of your envy.
Of course, that's easier said than done for many of us mere mortals.
Luckily, there's practical advice out there on how to talk yourself out of your envy.
6. Fearing alone time
Did you read about that study that found many people wouldrather give themselves a shock than
spend time alone with their thoughts? The mentally tough wouldn't need that
electric zing. "They enjoy their own company and aren't dependent on
others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be
happy alone," Morin insists.
7. Feeling the world
owes you something
Those with real
resilience expect to work for everything they have. "They weren't born
with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must
give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own
merits."
BY JESSICA
STILLMAN
http://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/7-things-mentally-strong-people-never-do.html?cid=em01014week41a
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